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| Mike's Random Thoughts From The Road #6 |
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| i sent this one out in an e-mail entitled: Facts About Spain And Cycling Across It. i wrote this while, can you guess?, cycling across spain, so it's a bit dated since i am posting this as i sit in hong kong, but i got a great response to it so i want to share it with others who may have not received it. i actually wrote one of these for every country i cycled through and will put the rest together and post them here. maybe i should create a new section? nah, screw it - they fit under the title of random thoughts as far as i'm concerned. enjoy! |
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Mike's Facts About Spain And Cycling Across It
1. spanish people love to yell. so what, right? they are passionate people with strong feelings which is great. it only becomes a problem given fact #2... |
| 2. they love to yell at me. in spanish. there are only 14 people left in spain who haven't yelled at me - i've been told they are on vacation in morocco waiting for me....as far as the "in spanish" part goes, that wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for fact #3... |
| 3. i don't understand spanish. how you tell a spaniard that, according to lonely planet's phrasebook, is "no hablo espanol" which i said several times before learning fact #4... |
| 4. "no hablo espanol" actually means "please keep yelling at me in spanish. i understand you perfectly and will heed your advice to become a better man. i am stupid." |
| 5. the spanish hate bikes. in fact, i got physically tossed off a train in madrid because of my bike. this fact only really bothers me because of fact #6... |
| 6. i have a bike with me at all times and, therefore, am continually loathed by the entire spanish populace. |
| 7. every street in every spanish city is one-way; by one-way i mean the opposite way i am trying to go. if i want to go to a grocery store, i am out of luck riding on the street because it only leads FROM the store and it is too narrow for a car AND a bike to fit on. no big deal if it weren't for facts #8 and #9... |
| 8. there are always 10,000 cars and trucks driving down the narrow streets of every spanish city with absolutely no room between them and the sidewalk. |
| 9. if you ride a bike on the sidewalk of a spanish city, people yell at you. why? review facts #1 and #5. |
| 10. spain is full of mountains. they are beautiful, but fact #11 sorta spoils them... |
| 11. the road on every mountain in spain only goes in one direction: up. you can't go DOWN a spanish mountain, they weren't designed that way. |
| 12. biking up mountains WITHOUT panniers (the bags that hold your stuff and hang off the side of your bike) is the easiest thing in the world - almost isn't even exercise. fact #12 is made moot by facts #13 and #14... |
| 13. biking up mountains with panniers is the hardest thing in the world. |
| 14. i have panniers on my bike. |
| 15. if lance armstrong had panniers on his bike and i had none on mine, i'd beat him to the top of any spanish mountain. on a unicycle. wearing a suit of armor. juggling bowling balls. |
| 16. for such a long trip, i hardly brought anything with me. doesn't matter though because of fact #17... |
| 17. the weight of any item placed in a pannier is multiplied times 10. this factor increases by 2 for each mountain you plan to cycle up that day. oh crap! look at fact #10! |
| 18. mi gusto espana! i am having a great time cycling here...it's beautiful country and the weather is flawless! |
| coming soon to an inbox near you: Facts About France And Cycling Across It. |
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keep on keepin' on, mike |
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